![]() ![]() ![]() Needless to say, my brother and Reg were taken off film selection duties and dad took over and that is why Friday nights in the Holder household became John Wayne nights.I usually don't recommend a film based simply on it's sex appeal, but this time I have to. So why the extra half-star, because of the ordeal I went through, and also I was a 15-year-old boy at the time, and I obviously thought the film was amazing. "Oh my, I don't think I can ever watch The Goonies again". Corey F!!!!!!, and it's a really rough shag as well, which prompted Mum's second zinger. On it went, there is no story, it's just shagging, Corey H and Baywatch girl must do it a dozen times or so, then just as you think, things can't get any worse, Corey F shags Baywatch girl. I was a teenage boy, I would have loved this film if I was watching it on my own, but the only thing missing from this desperate set-up was the local priest nipping in for a digestive and coffee. This film is about 90 minutes long and it felt like 9 hours. It was bad enough that we were watching it, it was mortifying that we were watching it with my parents but to point out to the room that this was borderline inappropriate, in front of my elder brother and his now silently giggling mate was the worst. "Oh, I don't think you should be watching this Dominic". My brother and Reg, realising that their judgment had been permanently compromised sat in the corner stony-faced. Anyway as Corey H was inspecting certain parts of Baywatch girl's lower anatomy, the tut my mum made was so loud a giant exclamation mark flew out of the roof and down the street. Mum was inexplicably still awake, why was she not asleep? During Dances with Wolves, she didn't even see Kev escape from having his foot sawn off, she'd already drifted off to the land of nod. Within the first 10 minutes, Corey H had knocked the back out of Baywatch girl twice, once including a session of what Glaswegians refer to as "growling at the badger". My brothers' explanation was that by the time they got to Global Video there wasn't much left and this film had the two Coreys in it, we'd all loved The Goonies and The Lost Boys so how bad can it be? Well, it wasn't so much that it was bad, but it was soft-core porn (or at least felt like that to a highly embarrassed 15-year-old). On this particular Friday, my brother and Reg were running late, when they finally turned up they had a copy of Blown Away with them. My parents would sit and half-watch, most of the time dad would be reading the newspaper and mum would be asleep by the time the opening titles had finished. Their judgement was usually pretty good, they once brought home Point Break which was friggin awesome when you're a 14-year-old lad. ![]() Over the years we watched some great stuff ranging from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade to Willow, from Dances With Wolves to Three Men and a Baby (hey I like that film). Here's the set-up in 1993 I was 15/16 and my older brother and his mate (let's call him Reg) used to pop to the mighty Global Video in our village every Friday night and pick out a video or two for us all to watch, more often than not including my parents. The film is terrible, but I wanted to share my experience of watching it for the first time back in 1993, it is an anecdote that my teenage kids would file under "cringe" if it happened to them. This film was on one of those channels that you get with Freeview with imaginatively titled names such as "Great Movies", which more often than not contains movies that are not particularly great, such as this early 90s attempt at a grumble flick starring the Two Coreys and a girl from Baywatch. This is an anecdotal review of why in my mid teens Friday night became John Wayne night in our house.
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